Mark Twain Bourbon in Heaven T-Shirt

Not available in stores

In his book, Life on the Mississippi, Mark Twain wrote:

"Give an Irishman lager for a month, and he's a dead man. An Irishman is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him, sir."

But that was too hard to fit on a t-shirt

So we choose this one instead:

"If I cannot drink bourbon and smoke cigars in heaven, then I shall not go."

Reading Twain is like enjoying tasty words, like some cheese or chocolate, perhaps paired with his favored drink, bourbon. Purveyors of other libations claim that theirs was the storyteller's favorite, probably doing some storytelling themselves.  One story is that on a voyage across the Atlantic, he was introduced to Scotch whisky (not whiskey) by the ship's surgeon.

Twain wrote home to his wife, Olivia, "Livy my darling, I want you to be sure and remember to have, in the bathroom, when I arrive, a bottle of Scotch whisky, a lemon, some crushed sugar, and a bottle of Angostura bitters." He goes on to tell her that while in London he had been having this "cock-tail" "before breakfast, before dinner, and before going to bed... To it I attribute the fact that up to this day my digestion has been wonderful -- simply perfect."

Twain no doubt would, and did, enjoy this rivalry to claim him as their patron saint. He lent his celebrity to many endorsements during his day, to sewing machines, medicines, and other elixirs.

Twain, born Samuel Langhorne Clemens had traveled the world. From the shores of the Mississippi to the wild west town of Virginia City, Nevada:

"... brass bands, banks, hotels, theatres, 'hurdy- gurdy houses,' wide-open gambling palaces, political pow-wows, civic processions, street fights, murders, inquests, riots, a whiskey mill every fifteen steps... and some talk of building a church."

-- Roughing It, Mark Twain

San Francisco, the territory of Hawaii, over to the east coast, and then across the Atlantic to visit the of world., which he chronicled in his book, Innocents Aboard. This was the journey he discovered scotch. He regaled readers with his visits to cemeteries and other burial sites, where he and his inebriated associates would listen to their tour guides' meticulous historical details, and then solemnly asked if the resident inside was deceased.

But the Mississippi River was where he came from. His youth was Tom Sawyer. His early adulthood was piloting the great river. He knew all the nooks and crannies, the depths and the dangers.

The river was the highway to much of America at the time. America's whiskey was transported from Kentucky and Tennessee to the City of New Orleans. The barges were sold, to buy horses for the return trip.

Mark Twain even got his name from the river: meaning the second mark on the line that measured depth; two fathoms, safe for a steamboat. (P.S. He did use several pen names throughout his early career, most  interestingly W. Epaminondas Adrastus Blab.)

So with these origins, we humbly claim Mr. Clemens one of our patron saints of bourbon. We further enter two tees as Exhibit A and B:

(Picture: Mark Twain by A.F. Bradley. 1907. Public domain as published prior to 1-1-1926.)

The T-shirt

Our tees are the highest quality you will find. 100% combed and ring-spun cotton by Bella Canvas, a USA-based company. Feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and very flattering for both men and women.

Free Shipping -- Please allow from 7 to 14 days for shipping.

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester
• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g/m2)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping

Size guide