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Crocodile Southern Whiskey T-Shirt

Regular price $34.95

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When you wear this tee, you can tell why crocodiles can be excellent at aging an American whiskey ;)

Why should Kentucky and Tennessee have all the fun? There aren't a lot of limestone creeks in Florida, but there are distilleries in Florida.

Take for example Palm Ridge Reserve, "an award-winning small batch of bourbon-style whiskey with simple ingredients from their farm." (Nichole Hutcheson,

"Florida whiskey is full of flavor and oaky," says proprietor Dick Waters. "Irish whiskey is sweeter and milder in comparison."

But this t-shirt is about the tongue-in-cheek Crocodile Southern Whiskey. When you wear this tee, you will need a tall tale. Naturally, our writers were up to the task, especially having just poured a glass. 

You see, crocodiles are perfect for the aging of a good whiskey.

It's probably a good thing this fact wasn't discovered earlier in American history. Otherwise, crocodiles would be all over Kentucky by now, roaming around in the limestone creeks.

A Florida Colonel by the name of Augustine "Miami" Jones came up with an ingenious invention in the late 1800s. Having seen barrels of bourbon being sloshed about on barrages, on their journey down the Mississippi River, towards New Orleans, "Miami" knew that being on the water rocked the whiskey against and into the staves of the barrel. (At this point, if anyone questions this, simply tell them about Jefferson's Ocean Bourbon, which is "aged at the mercy of the sea.")

Colonel Jones, who would later change his last name to Bourbon (see what we did there) took the unaged, "white lighting" juice, ready to be aged, and he strapped little barrels onto the backs of crocodiles.

Let us say that again:

The Colonel strapped little barrels onto the backs of crocodiles.

Here is an excerpt from the imaginary Colonel's diary 

"It was a sight to see! All those gators swimming around, going about their day, with the barrels on their backs, the soon-to-be tasty nectar inside, sloshing about. The humidity expanded the oak staves, and when the creatures rested on the swamp floor, shielded from the sun, the barrels contracted, greatly improving the aging process." 

The Colonel admitted some barrels were lost on account of "gator combat and shenanigans... You've heard of the angel's share? I consider it the croc's share."

Someone noticed the Colonel seemed to use the reptile terms interchangeably and asked" "Who ages the whiskey better? Crocodiles or alligators"

"Either," the Colonel replied. "Let's just hope Kentucky doesn't finds out."

So there you have it, the tall tale you can tell when you wear this awesome, one-of-a-kind t-shirt. 

PS -- One more story. It is said there is a Croc that ages a particular small batch barrel whiskey. He can be elusive but he (or she) always seems to know when the juice is ready and heads for shore. 

The Vintage Look

The shirt has a unique distressed, vintage look; cool, subtle, like washed in a creek. Like maybe it's seen a few things. The fabric remains the highest quality (see below).

The T-shirt

Our tees are the highest quality you will find. 100% combed and ring-spun cotton by Bella Canvas, a USA-based company. Feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and very flattering for both men and women.

Free Shipping -- Please allow from 7 to 14 days for shipping. 

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester
• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g/m2)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping

Size guide

  S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL
Length (inches) 28 29 30 31 32 33 34
Width (inches) 18 20 22 24 26 28 30